7:36 pm April 14,2025

30 mins to an 1 hour

Filled with flowing thoughts and open feels

What do I do in that time frame 

Read

Talk to myself on things I’ve been holding in 

Write

Listen to music and zone out 

The time of peace 

Had three dreams last night 

3 dreams for 3 chocolate cookies 

One of them told me that my aura was orange and that I needed an orange candle

I called this spiritual store to see if they sold them. They did. Homemade. 

The lady said they were out for deliveries to come later

I did

No one was there 

I called and I’m not too sure if it was another lady that answered 

She tells me the store isn’t open on Mondays 

I say okay 

Trying my best not to say “why didn’t the other lady tell me that!” 

I just say okay

On the way to the store 

30 min 

Walk

In a sweater shirt 

And it’s sunny

I’m on the phone with a teacher I had in University 

At the end of the call she tells me a story of a person she knew who she believes quit on their dream/passion/desire too soon. They had way more to give than where they are now 

She told me she still feels the flicker. The fire in me. She told me don’t quit, don’t give up to continue going for what I want. Whatever that may be. 

If I don’t get accepted- there are plenty of other schools. Plenty other HBCUS… PWIs and inbetweens.

I’m sitting on my steps.. typing this up because today is Monday and I want to get something out for this 30 day challenge. 

What if that walk was just for me to hear that. Hear to keep fighting because boy oh boy I want to quit. Quitting entails letting my life pass by me. No longer caring because the thought of no longer caring means my feelings aren’t evolved in any capacity. How can you be passionate about something if you don’t care. How can you have a desire for something if you don’t care… if you’re not feeling anything?

But no matter how much I wish I could do that I’m not. 

Why?

I’ve felt what it feels to finally make it to my goal. I felt what it feels like to feel that blissful moment I’ve prayed days and months and years for. 

I would like to feel it again. 

Talk tomorrow,

Say