Featured picture taken at Mr.Brainwash museum

It’s been 1 year and 9 months since I’ve uprooted and planted my life seed in LA. In Los Angeles.

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And with just one day I really thought my time here had run out.

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I think along the way I forgot the true reason why I wanted to move to LA.

To be honest I could’ve moved anywhere.

Philadelphia
Delaware
Minnesota
Chicago

Anywhere.

But everytime I visited California it felt like home. It felt like freedom and endless possibilities.

I know that sounds cliche and like the beginning of a 2000’s Disney movie but it’s true.

Months after I moved here, I got my first big girl job.

I was doing my thang. Exploring the city and seeing what it had to offer. Meeting new people. Going to events. Making Pilates my personality lol. I was just being outsideeeeeee and enjoying this new life of mine.

I was putting on a new coat. Trying it on and seeing if it fit. Did it match my new style of being an East Coast girl living on the West Coast?

After a while the newness of the city faded away. I got used to the same ole streets, the same people… the same routine.

The birds no longer chirped.

Now they’re just in the way.

It’s now about paying this bill, running for the bus, responding to this email, going to the grocery store within my budget and trying not to make a mistake while putting zoom meetings together.

*internal scream*

*adulting is ghettooo*

*fake laughs and puts hair behind ear*

When time “allows” I try to add a little fun to my life by seeing a concert, dating (don’t even get me started), decorating my house or meeting up with friends.

Then boom-

Words no one in this freaking economy wants to hear busted through my door…

“This is your last day working with us.”

I was snapped back into reality.

With that one sentence it reminded me that I had so much more to discover.

*Insert Pause*

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Now listen- this aint no “follow the yellow brick road”.

But there comes a time in life where you realize you are no longer living life. Instead life is living you. The color of life is now dull and your now reminiscing of the fun times you had in college. Wising you could be that fun part of yourself again.

I had a blast in college. I felt like I was unstoppable. If there was a party I was there drinking Paul Masson and New Amsterdam.

Okay that’s going too far back my stomach is starting to hurt.

*Rewind & Play*

It snapped me back into reality. With that one sentence it reminded me that I had so much more to discover.

My time here can’t be done yet!

But with those words my time was done.

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Weeks after I heard those words I wanted to just say “fuck this fuck that fuck all of this I’m moving back home and I’m starting over. I’m doing something else with my life. I don’t want this no more!”

I silently started to make a plan of getting my stuff back home or selling it. I even started to look up schools for me to attend to.

“I’m quitting and no one can stop me!”

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I don’t know about you but have you ever wanted to just give up?

Say “fuck this shit” and just become a couch potato for the rest of humanity?

Sounds extreme but sometimes the shit life presents to you is just too tough to handle.

If I give up I won’t have to fail.

I can never fail if I never try. Right?

*sticks tongue out*

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I didn’t know in those moments of planning, I was not only quitting with staying in my field of choice… I was also quitting on myself.

I was quitting on finding out what could be if I did my damnest and just rolled with the punches.

Did everything in my abilities to stay in LA. Find work, and connect with people to see what’s out there.

To not quit until the clock strikes midnight.

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This moment in time is testing me. To see what I’m made of?

And to be honest with you… I don’t know what I’m made of…

But with the support of my friends and family. I will not allow someone or something to push me out. Imma keep going at this thing until I say stop.

*I feel like it’s appropriate so imma just drop the mic lmaoo*

Until next time
-Sabryn